Dust

I have so many important things I should be doing right now instead of this- but I can't start unless I write what's going through my mind. In a sense I am deleting those thoughts from my head and storing it here instead; there is no philosophy or profound meaning in anything I will be typing, nor will it be lengthy or worthwhile to read... but here goes:

I am falling apart. Right before my very eyes I can see everything crumbling to dust; I promised myself I'd be a better person for my sake and for the sake of others I care about, but I'm finding it impossible to do so, especially as of late. Some times it is entirely my fault, and other times I believe it to be the fault of others, but no matter... I am still falling apart.
I am finding that I have little to nothing in common with those surrounding me, and this is a very daunting thought that some time in my future I will have to erect another facade of myself to project onto others to show them I am like them. But I am nothing like them. .

I am finding it increasingly hard to be myself because I am suppressed at every turn. I'm slowly being veered to act and behave in a way that's just not me- just to make others happy. The saddest part is that I don't have the will to resist anymore... I am becoming someone even I don't recognise... and even then, the world continues to shun me.

I can't be happy being myself.
I can't be happy being someone else.

I am losing every part of me that I consider my true self... and despite every sacrifice, I have still failed. To those who love me, and to those I love... they still see failure in me. I can never make them happy.

Perhaps I am not meant to live a life of happiness